Its my last week of holidays and I am really not liking the idea of it being over. I have been so busy. The first week my partner didn't have holidays as she is at TAFE and so I kept myself busy with appointments and catching up with the aids I worked wih at my school last year. I did my exercise in the morning and then I was in the right frame of mind to stick with my points the rest of the day. This week because she has been home my exercise has waited until the end of the day like when I am at work. I don't know why this is making it difficult but today after being out all day I didn't feel like exercising... so I didn't. This sometimes happens when I am at school also. I get home and have my afternoon snack and then jump on the treadmill. Then dinner and then I get back to working again.
Today was a little different... I didn't feel like exercising AND I wanted to eat... anything! By the time we got home I was so hungry that I just wanted to grab some junk and pig out. I managed to fight that urge and had dinner but now all I want to do is eat.
I have been trying to save pts this week for Hi tea and my birthday lunch on the weekend. Today as we were out I made a bad lunch choice. Actually it wasn't that bad... just high in points. We had Lord of the Fries. I got a mini burger and shared a box of chips with 4 people I could have eaten a HUGE burger and the chips with no problems... but I didn't). As yet they don't have nutritional information for their food so I have had to guess a little and decided I had probably had 12pts for lunch. This meant that I would go over my usual 19 pts so I can save 4. Too late though... I wanted the food because its so yum so I ate it... I don't feel guilty (well only slightly). Plus while I was out I was planning to get on the treadmill. Once I got home and just couldn't drag myself on I was a little annoyed as it meant not only did I not have any saved pts, I also didn't make any bonus pts. Although I did walk around most of the day I never count this as pts as I stand all day usually so its built into my pts allowance. I have saved the last 2 days and earned 8 bonus pts so far but I have to get some more before Saturday.
Although I know this is entirely possible... tonite because I was tired I also decided to have a 1pt square of chocolate. So now I have eaten 1/2pt over my daily pts. How strange this is from my last WW journey! Before I would have been kicking myself for eating 12 extra pts... now its for a 1/2.
I know that by the end of this week I can earn more bonus pts but I don't want to put too big a dint in them tomorrow. I had a plan for this week and its already stuffed. I need to make a new plan. I am not due to go out tomorrow until 1.30 so I can walk earlier but I really want a bit of a sleep in... I can walk friday and sunday I will try saturday but I don't want to count on it. Thats 12 pts. I can also save 4 pts friday and sunday. So all up that's an extra 20 pts. I have already got 15.5 pts so that gives me 35.5 extra pts. Then I can spend some tomorrow and some on saturday. Even if I only get 25-30 pts that should absolutely be enough. (fingers crossed... yum cha can be so evil)
Now if only I wasn't so desperate to eat now then I think I would feel confident with this plan. At the moment it feels unattainable as I am just not in the mood to worry about pts. I just want to drive to maccas get some chips and pig out. I am not really sure if its because I am tired or angry at myself for not sticking to the plan or I am actually hungry. I am not good at telling when I feel hungry... I only get a rumble sometimes and I move from feeling nothing to starving... starving to the point that I have to eat NOW! I don't know how to work out when I am hungry. At school I eat when I have to because I have no choice the only time I tend to notice is when I get home from work and when I get in bed at night... I always feel hungry then, but I am usually able to disregard it and go to sleep.
ARGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEED ME... no I think I will have a tea... and a bit of my partners rice crisp... surely a bite is 0pts!!! hehehe
Maybe I should just go to bed...
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